Joaqui's First Draft

Guess the author:

“There was a blinding flash of light! After the huge flash there was a tremendous gust of smoke with a thundering roar like a tornado.

“Soon after it started to clear up, only to reveal that she was in an ancient ruin with weird symbols all over the cave walls!

“She tried to climb up the path she fell into but it was no use. Suddenly, there was a tremendous roar! She tried running away but there was no escape! She desperately looked for a way out but no luck.

“Just when she thought it was hopeless an arm came out from nowhere and dragged Elizabeth out of the way, out of the ruins just before the monster could grab her.

“ ‘That was close,’ Elizabeth said. ‘It sure was,’ said the voice that had saved her.”

This piece was written by our eight year old grandson Joaqui. His teacher, Ms. Berrell, noted in her class blog: “This was the first time we've written a narrative independently and students were required to pick up the story from where the 'story starter'—containing a little girl opening a box that she wasn't supposed to— left off.”

She wrote further, “As a teacher I am regularly blown away by the great work my students present me…This is Paolo's (That’s how he’s called in class.) first draft! He has informed me that in his next draft there will be a twist as another problem will arise. I for one, cannot wait to read the next installment!

“I encourage students to tell their parents about their stories, and parents to ask their children about them. It is through discussion of our ideas that we develop the detail and expression to describe these initial ideas, and produce such creative pieces of work!”

I naturally got excited so I promptly shared the above piece with my author friend Grace who responded, “Saludo ako kay Joaqui! Such an excellent command of the language at his age! He should really be a writer when he grows up.

”Saludo din ako sa teacher. She seems to be a very conscientious, sincere, and dedicated teacher—very affectionate, too. I wish we could all be like her!”

I asked Lucci if she had in any way helped Joaqui write this article. “I didn’t even know about it, he did that in class,” she replied.

Joaqui and his sister Charlize grew up with books—reading having become a bedtime habit and books always figuring in their play. So Joaqui never fails to go to bed without a read. They frequent the Campbelltown public library like they visit malls.

I’m really thankful to God at how He’s enabling our grandkids to grow up in the wisdom of the Lord. I’m grateful that their parents are Godly and loving and sensitive to their needs, and that they decided to send them to a Christian school whose teachers love and encourage their pupils like their own.

And I’m thankful, most of all for the grace of God in our children’s lives. His wonderful promise of blessings—pressed down, shaken together, running over—applies from generation to generation of those who love Him!