Are You a Migraineur?

Migraineur. Cute word.

But no; it's not some French-y word like auteur or amateur.

A migraineur is someone who contends with migraine, a type of headache caused by the enlargement of blood vessels releasing chemicals from nerve fibers around the brain 's large arteries.

And there's nothing cute about migraine. I've lived with it for the most part of my life; and if it weren't for God's grace, I'd probably by now have become a dodo bird---flightless, lifeless and extinct.

Many things can trigger a migraine, in my case, prolonged computer use, glare from the sun or even a light bulb, loud music or noise, extreme heat or cold, strong offensive smell like someone's breath reeking of alcohol, cigarette smoke, even potato chips laced with MSG.

I remember one serious episode during our town fiesta in Lucban. The day was hot and humid. Vehicles and throngs of people crowded the town's streets. Our house rocked with guests from everywhere---and they were all babbling; so my husband Jack and I decided against staying overnight and drove back to Manila the same day. Wrong decision.

In spite of me having taken medication, vomiting seemed the only way to further relieve the pain. Throughout the entire trip, I puked till there was none to puke while my body writhed with pain and my head throbbed incessantly. I had always feared dying not necessarily from the pain, but from aneurysm because of too much stress from migraine.

"I'm dying," I cried, and begged Jack to just bring me to the nearest hospital. I survived that one as I did all my other migraine experiences.

I once ran out of the usual prescription medicine and had an attack. We stopped at every botica along the way but none would sell because I didn't have a doctor's prescription, so the migraine intensified.

Jack laid hands on me and prayed, "In Jesus name, migraine be gone." Out came three monstrous sneezes, maybe a score of ten, in a one to ten range---something I thought impossible because my sneezes would typically be meows. And the migraine was gone!

Lately, they've come more frequently, with my replacement pill retailing at P230 per. (I would sometimes try to scrimp on its use, only to find myself facing a bigger headache, because I took it too late in the pain.)

"I'm sick and tired of pain," I bitterly complained to the Lord recently. I practically begged Him to take me home and decided: No more teaching, no more writing or consulting, no more using the computer, no more thinking, no more stress. I'm retiring from life! "I just want to be in your presence where there is no more pain or suffering."

Then just like the aroma of freshly-brewed chamomile: "My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor 12:9)"

And His loving rebuke: Hindi mo pa ba na-gets? Haven't you gotten it yet? All your so-called abilities or accomplishments is because of My power in you! In your weakness, I have become your strength. When you're unable, I am able. When a migraine debilitates you, I thrust myself between you and the enemy, absorbing each blow and strengthening you with my grace. I told you life would never be easy, but I did promise you: You are more than a conqueror in Me! And aren’t you precisely that today, in spite of migraine?

What about the next migraine, Lord?

That's why I gave you the sneeze! Just sneeze it to smithereens. I am your healer.

Further, and He said it through a friend: Dance. Exercise. Praise. Worship. Be thankful. Get on with your life. Be a cry-baby once in a while but don't quit!

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior... (Isaiah 43:1-3)"

Tatay

Tatay was an OFW, well sort of. Out for work always.

I grew up not seeing much of him because his jobs required him to always be in Manila or elsewhere---a really big sacrifice for my parents who wanted to make sure their eight kids (I'm the bunso) were armed with something better for their future.

Being teachers---Tatay taught High School Physics, Math and Biology while Nanay was Grade One maestra---they planned on sending us all to college, so being employed somewhere seemed the only way for this dream to come true. (Tatay had always wanted to be a doctor but his father's early death sealed that possibility off.)

So I don't recall spending a lot of time with Tatay when I was little.

One incident I could not forget. I must have been four of five years old that time: had my usual temper tantrum one weekend. Arriving from work, Father caught me in the middle of my screaming and kicking frenzy while I threw whatever object I could get hold of from the top of the stairs.

This was an age when whacking one's kids meant discipline, not abuse. Yes, I got the belt. And learned a great lesson that day.

Tatay was a disciplinarian and his booming voice always scared me and my brother Dan (my best friend and playmate when we were kids, he's the 7th) witless.

As I got older, I learned to appreciate Tatay more. He instilled integrity in us---to the point of sacrifice.

He worked longest at the Bureau of Internal Revenue. There was an instance when he lost an envelope-full of documentary stamps---which cost quite a sum---because he fell asleep while commuting from their head office.

He could just have made excuses or lied about it, but I remember him selling a piece of his itsy-bitsy inheritance to pay it off. This was when corruption was already rampant in that agency.

I cherish having spent more time with him and Nanay when they were already retired and living with my sister Malu in the U.S.

(That is why I love Mcdonald's so much. I love to tell my Marketing students this story: Tatay always treated us to McDonald's when we'd go out. So McDonald's meant more than just burgers. It became some sort of comfort food to me. It meant precious times with my parents. They had always been busy trying to feed and clothe and educate their eight children when they were younger; so those bonding moments gave me the chance to get to know them better!)

Tatay suffered from cancer toward the end of his life. (He passed away 1989 and would have turned 101 this June 28.) The disease had already penetrated his bones and doctors warned us the pain would be pretty excruciating.

But he didn't show any sign of pain or complained of anything. His voice no longer boomed. As he lay on his hospital bed and with his barely audible voice, he would always thoughtfully remind us to eat. Then he slept his final sleep.

I believe Tatay is in heaven, in the presence of the Father who sustained him as he faithfully fulfilled his role as husband, father and provider.

One day, I will hear his booming voice again. And I will behold with him Jesus who sustained us both, in that place where there is no more pain or suffering---or OFWs.

For the Lamb of God at the center of the throne will be their Shepherd; He will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe every tear from their eyes. (Rev 7:17)

Setting Free the Lonely in Families

"I'm one of the 6.5 billion people cheering for you... thank you for not giving up," commented my former student Patrizia in one of her Facebook posts.

The attached image showed a pretty woman with an expression of either awe or disgust.

Intrigued, I clicked the arrow on the image and in streamed the Youtube video of Sung-Bong Choi auditioning for the reality show "Korea's Got Talent".

The pretty woman was apparently one of the show's judges--- amazed at what she was hearing from Sung-Bong.

The 22-year old answered the judges' questions almost stoically, his eyes almost always glued on empty space or the floor. But what he said stung both the judges and the audience.

"I just want to be normal," he said, and disclosed his un-normal life: Abandoned at the orphanage at age three. A runaway at age five because he could not stand people abusing him. A street kid since then, selling gums and energy drinks; at night making the stairs or public toilets his home.

The judges and the audience as you realize by now were either sniffling or already in tears.

But there was more. He did a jaw-dropping performance, just like an opera singer.

Yes, there may have been some missed notes. His face wasn't expressive enough. He felt awkward gesturing.

But how could the judges or the audience ask for more if their hearts were about to burst?

"I would have taken master (music) class if I had the chance," he said, "but I just practiced."
He heard someone singing one day at a night club. "He sang so sincerely," he added; and so started his journey to his dream. As he practiced singing, he started dreaming of "a normal life".

Sung-Bong is probably in for the shock of his life. And I believe his road will fork as Korean Idol gives him the opportunity to improve his singing and his life.

"I just want to hug him," said one of the judges.

"I just want him to be happy from now on," said another, hinting at wanting to help him fulfill his dream.

Remember Joseph, the son of Jacob who was sold by his brothers to slavery, then imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit?

He waited 13 years for the promise to be fulfilled. He saved his own people and the world from hunger when by God's design, he became governor of Egypt.

Sung-bong spent 17 years just waiting for this breakthrough, the chance to be normal. He had been toiling as a manual laborer, working hard to also finish his high school education.

"Enough is enough," God is probably saying to Sung-Bong or anyone who's waited patiently for freedom of whatever kind.

"My purpose will prevail. I will turn your mourning into dancing, your sorrow into joy."

God promised (Psalm 68:6) to set the lonely in families free and lead to joyful singing those who have been prisoners.

Hope indeed springs eternal!

A Reminder to Young and Old

Solomon, supposedly the wisest man who ever lived, found life meaningless on many counts. He had everything, tasted everything, enjoyed everything, but at the end of his life realized that life was empty without God.

Heed his advice:

“Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment.

“So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless.

“Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them", before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain;

“when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim;

“when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding fades; when men rise up at the sound of birds, but all their songs grow faint;

“when men are afraid of heights and of dangers in the streets; when the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags himself along and desire no longer is stirred.

“Then man goes to his eternal home and mourners go about the streets.

“Remember Him--before the silver cord is severed, or the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, or the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.”

(Eccl 11:9-12:7 NIV)

Tantrums

"No more being grumpy to get some stuff."

"No more fighting with anyone."

"No more being rude."

"No more tapping your friend's head."

"If someone's not being good, tell the teacher right now."

These are just a few of Charlize's "rules" which she proclaimed with some air of authority after learning from her kiddie bible that God gave Moses His laws.

I was amazed that my granddaughter could easily rattle off more than two dozen dos and don'ts she'd picked up from her parents, teachers and people of authority around her.

And it's quite funny that the first rule she blurts out is the one she almost always breaks. Before every trip to the mall, her Mom would always remind her to behave. "If you like something and we can't or won't buy it, no tantrums! No crying!" And she would, like a meek lamb always nod yes.

Pretty much like some of us. The difference is, Charlize is just a bit older than a toddler (and I believe she will behave better in the mall as she matures); but you and I--- well, we're supposed to be older and wiser.

David, dubbed as the man after God's heart, had his own lustful tantrum while he was already king. He definitely knew the rules and followed them. But after just one lingering stare at a bathing woman--- while he stood on top of his palace surveying his kingdom, he got snared, even masterminding the death of her husband.

Mall, palace or hotel--- it seems that wherever we are, some "nice" object can titillate our I-wanna-have pangs, launching us into more monumental tantrums.

International Monetary Fund (IMF) head Dominique Strauss-Kahn was arrested in New York recently for allegedly trying to rape a hotel maid inside his suite, according to Time magazine.

No wonder there are rules. The bible calls them "law."

And rules are not just for kids. Rules are meant to save us from ourselves and and our own stupidity.

Those in positions of power think they're so smart. Surprise! It is when you're on top that you become most vulnerable. Add to the David-Kahn list Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon, Ferdinand Marcos. The list goes on.

Super tantrums emerge because of super egos. AKA pride.

The only pride buster? Brokenness before God. AKA humility.

Jesus offers Himself to be both our Savior and Lord--- assuring us of eternal life and offering wisdom so that we can order our lives pleasing to the Father. For He can calm even the most savage and insidious tantrums.

"Show me your ways o Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God, my Savior. My hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5

Hero or Overcomer

You bump into the most amazing folks even when you're up in the air, just twiddling your thumbs and bolted to your seat.

Meet Vicky, my seatmate as I flew home from Davao after two wonderful days with yuppies and women.

Vicky, an accountant, and her husband Ferdinand, a mechanical engineer, were en route to Saudi Arabia to resume their work after visiting their two year old son Jack. They met in Saudi Arabia, got married, and when Jack was born, brought him home - to be cared for by her sister.

Sensing the questions circling my mind, Vicky said, "Hindi maintindihan ng ibang tao kung bakit nagta-trabaho kami sa ibang bansa at iiwan ang pamilya. Hindi lang nila alam kung gaano kahirap ang buhay dito sa atin. (They don't understand why we work in other countries and leave family behind. But they don't understand how hard life is in the Philippines.)"

Vicky is quite fortunate because her sister loves Jack like her own.

We often hear of kababayans getting the wrong side of the bargain when they work overseas: Couples eventually split, with their kids going wayward - these in spite of the material abundance they've toiled for and lavished on them. Many bear with torment from abusive employers.

Again in this respect, Vicky and Ferdinand have pulled through.

"Dasal lang ako nang dasal. (I just pray continuously)," says Vicky. "Kahit palasigaw ang amo ko, hindi ako gumaganti. (In spite of my boss' verbal lashes, I never took it on their children." Mahal ko sila talaga. (I love those kids.)"

Yes, Vicky is a nanny.

And she goes where her ward goes, even in Edinburgh, Scotland, where she spends most of her time today, waiting on him as he attends Edinburgh's Royal Blind School.

The boy developed retinoblastoma - a common ocular malignancy in childhood - when he was two years old. He survived the malignancy but lost his sight.

Vicky makes sure that he lives as normal a life as possible. He is adept with the computer, skis, composes music and has remained at the top of his class.

Vicky a hero? Probably yes.

But see, I'm reluctant to call her that. Because I know the motivation behind the government's use of "hero" is pretty political - to applaud and appease a marginalized sector who wanted so much to improve their lives, but denied of prospects, was forced to go somewhere to get just a slice of that dream.

Emotionally, I believe Vicky is conflicted, leaving her baby in the Philippines while taking care of someone's elsewhere. I can't imagine what she might be going through every time she thinks of Jack.

For her devotion to duty, unconditional love and humongous faith, I believe God will honor Vicky's heart.

"Overcomer." That's how I prefer to call her. Vicky continues to stand on God's promises and waits for just the right time for her prayers to be answered.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Davao Treats

Such treats He pours on us daily! And I tasted these heart-tingling yummies these past few days.

Aside from my two older sisters visiting (we're now suffering from childhood kwentuhan blues) from the US and Australia, I traveled south last Friday, courtesy of my publisher OMF Literature.

Let's see, Friday night was gimmick time with the yuppies of Davao who relished our "No Way to Go But Up" discussion- on surviving and being light and salt in the workplace. I loved it that quite a number of call center gimikeros (the most stressed of today's workers) came!

The Edge Radio helped OMF mastermind this first ever Davao yuppie gathering.

Glen, my former Southville Foreign University student who chose to go back to Davao to build his career there, surprisingly showed up as promised.

"That was a great seminar," he texted me later. "Very fun and engaging, and it really looked like a professional (TV ) talk show."


Saturday was ladies' day out as Davao's SHE population (more than 600 of them, from teeners to yuppies, mothers and grandmoms) trooped to SheDay, an annual women-honoring event initiated by OMF in Cebu a few years back.

Theater celebrity and gospel singer Tricia Amper Jimenez wowed us all (and heaven I'm sure!) with her powerful praise songs and a hosting style so honest and heartwarming we felt Jesus' loving embrace as she emceed between presentations and her inspirational songs.

Author Ardy Roberto presented his "Ang Perang Hindi Bitin" tips. I noted the ladies briskly taking notes as he discussed practical, down-to-earth and God-wise breakthrough money management ways.

What a privilege for me to talk of God's wonderful purpose for today's women; and to end my part with a song encouraging the ladies to come to Jesus humbly, just like Mary who broke her expensive alabaster jar as a sign of submission to His will.

All these happened at Christ Fellowship Church where OMF, the Edge Radio and Davao's volunteer youth and women took time out from their busy schedules to demonstrate their caring for the yuppies and women of Davao.

Big thanks, hugs and big congratulations to Faye (who ably hosted the yuppie night), Karen, Elle and the other The Edge volunteers; and OMF's Mindanao Operations supervisor Aileen, her Visayas counterpart Lynnie (who helped in the production side and was the event's cool-as-cucumber-voice-over), plus the entire OMF team as well as the lady volunteers and sponsors.

Kudos to Madel, my lady in waiting! Joke! Can you imagine being assigned a PA (personal assistant) volunteer?! Madel was true to form, and praying earnestly besides!

M'am Glo, OMF's Sales boss flew in from Manila with Michael, my friend from OMF Pergola.

Breakfast before flying home was a rip-roaring time with Gay, one of Davao's Christian education advocates. Her big heart for children and families is as big as her laughter and her love for Jesus.

Definitely grander treats than Davao pomelo or durian ice cream and shopping at Aldevingco- though we enjoyed them too! :)

God alone deserves the glory for all these. I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among
throngs of people I will praise you. (Psalm 35:18)